its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
