Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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