I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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