we have officially lost it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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