I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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