So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
