I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
