the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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