ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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