So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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