Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize