so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
