Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
