he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
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hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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