I just made out with a guy for $7.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
