Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need water and some morals
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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