She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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