I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
