At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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