Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
