I need help removing her.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
