Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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