whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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