I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
