I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
