Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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