apparently the secret to your success is patron
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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