I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
