so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
