You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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