I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
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i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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