adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
