K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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