I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
