Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
