his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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