We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my poor anus
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
