3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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