I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
