How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
