sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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