I hate your face
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
God, I missed his penis.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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