Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
