question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
