i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
