Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
