I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize