You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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