Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
