Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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