just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize