508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
