whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
