Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
