It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
