where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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