in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize