I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I will be naked everywhere
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
