whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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