Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
