Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
