so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's never too late to be topless.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
