Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
kristin has been a bad kristin
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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