Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize